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Monday, May 25, 2009

Okay, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little



It may seem odd, but to kick off my Harry Potter blog, I can't help but post a critique of a book series I just read. Yes, I have channeled my inner 13 year-old girl and read the Twilight series. Please wait until you've read my review before you pass judgment on my testosterone levels... or lack thereof.

Overall, I rate the series 9 stars out of 10......million. All kidding aside, I actually do have some positive points to pick out of the series, so I suppose I'll start with those before I begin the actual rant.

SPOILER ALERT: Please do not read the rest of this if you do not want to know key plot elements of the Twilight series. This is your only warning.


Positives:

1.) Stephanie Meyer - props on coming up with a cleaver and creative idea for a romance novel that seamlessly blends the supernatural with the ordinary. Kudos.

2.) The constant threat of impending doom and violence = compelling story. I'm glad it wasn't all gooey kissy barfiness.

3.) The story does a pretty good job of moving along and keeping the attention of the reader. I got into the story enough to actually care about what happens to the characters.

4.) There are some truly likable characters in this series. Seth, for example is one of my favorites. He has true convictions and sticks to his guns despite being one of the youngest members of his pack. He doesn't carry around prejudices or preconceived notions. He judges things as they are. He's also extremely loyal and has a good heart.




Negatives:

1.) In the words of Simon Cowell, "That was complete self-indulgent rubbish!" That just about sums up my opinion of the whole story. I imagine Stephanie Meyer is a lot like Bella when we first meet her in the beginning of the novel. Plain, not many friends, somewhat of an introvert and social outcast. That's about where that ends. We now enter Stephanie's happy fantasy land where young Bella meets a guy entirely out of her league who just happens to be as obscessed with her as she is with him. Bella has no apparent remarkable personality traits and she is admittedly average looking. Yet, Mr. invincible has chosen her to fall in love with after not batting an eye at any girl for almost a century. Go figure. Second, every guy bella encounters seems to fall head-over-heals in love with Bella; i.e.: Mike, Jake, Edward, even Quil if he had the chance. Thirdly, Bella and Edward have a child who is not only the most beautiful in the world (although every mother thinks theirs is the most beautiful child in the world, but I'm not going to go there.) But does young Renesmee (stupid name) have any flaws? Nope! She's the child that everyone falls in love with immediately upon seeing her. Every mother's fantasy. Just a little self-indulgent maybe? Lastly, "Plain Jane" Bella becomes little miss vixen vampire. Does Stephanie Meyer settle with having her dream self as powerful as the other vampires? No way! Bella exercises exceptional self-control for a vampire, can run faster, jump higher, and even beat Mr. Strongman Emmett in arm wrestling. Hmmm. I wonder who is going to save the entire vampire nation from the opressing Volturi. Surely not the experienced vampires. Nope, it's Bella. If you can't see how self-indulgent Stephanie Meyer is by now, read the previous paragraph again and repeat until you do.

2.) There is no objectivity in the author's portrayal of male and female. These books were clearly written by a female for females. You're probably screaming "DUH!" at me, but come on, give us guys a fair shake. Meyer's portrayal of guys is for the most part is over generalized. They're either too good to be true (Edward) or stereotyped into macho jerks who only think about fighting and/or sex (Emmett and Jacob). Need evidence? Take a look at the passages when Edward is reading Jacob's thoughts and I'll bet you 75% of the things Emmett says have to do with fighting or gettin' lucky. And how many times is Mike going to ask Bella out? Move on buddy!

3.) Can you say clingy? If Edward weren't so in love with Bella, he'd get sick of her pretty quick. Here's the best example of Bella's "clinginess." In New Moon, Edward leaves Bella in the fall. She does the whole "poor me" thing for 4 months until she meets Jacob. She admittedly spends a lot of time with him, but a mere 4 more months later, she's reunited with Edward. Now, 4 months is like a summer fling and yet Bella feels like she can't live without Jacob in her life. She'd known the little brat for 4 stupid months. Get over it!

Those are my biggest gripes out the series although I have plenty more. Finally, I just want to say that I think there was so much potential to do so much with this story, but I was left feeling a bit unfulfilled. I wish Stephanie Meyer would have developed the characters a little more. Not Bella, Edward, or Jacob, but the other characters. It seems like the other Cullens all got pigeonholed in their roles. For example, Carlisle is the compassionate doctor. He plays a huge part in the story, and yet we still don't know much else about him. I would prefer if there were other plot elements to be resolved besides those surrounding Bella and Edward. What about killing off a major character? I think it is a mark of a mature writer that you can kill off a major likable character, speaking of clingy, miss Stephanie.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll think of dozen more things to say about this series, but I've bored you all with enough already. I'll say this though. Stephanie Meyer knows her audience well and she has catered to them brilliantly, and to that I say, job well done.

3 comments:

acandiedapple said...

I wholeheartedly agree. I honestly only read the first two books and couldn't go on. Although they were captivating they just seemed like more of the same at that point. Bella seemed very whiny and selfish. The boys were just brutes. If it were a bit more realistic maybe it could have worked for me. But, what do I know. Millions of people LOVE this series.

I also confess to never reading HP. Your blog got me thinking that I really should. I'm going to start as soon as we move (this weekend) to Columbus. Maybe I'll read them to Calder.

Tyler the Gryffindork said...

Cami, Cami, Cami. I can't believe you've never read HP. What a shame. Well, now's a good time to start! Also, I'm glad you agree with my assessment of Twilight.

Unknown said...

I feel like there is just too much to say to even get into this Twilight nonsense. My biggest gripe (as I believe I mentioned to you) is Stephenie's lack of writing ability. I know that sounds strange (as she is now a top seller in book and movie), but I found her writing dull, underdeveloped and obnoxious. Granted she does have a great imagination and told a fun story, so I was hooked like everyone else. I just have to look at the story as a fun summer time/ no thought required read. I am glad you read them. And harnessing your 13 year old girl inner self is definitely required to survive those books. haha No shame there.
And I am proud to say when asked to choose between HP or Twilight there is not a moments hesitation to the answer HP! (Sadly that is not the case with everyone) :)